Deaf Children And Their Families

Question: My In-laws control my husband.We dont have proper income also.shud i have a kid now?whn will my husband mature? Hi! Im a woman, married for 2 yrs now, but im still not happy with my married life. My husband and i, we both are 27yr old.. but he is not mature for his age. He is not well educated, but has good knowledge and experience over his work. He behaves very childishly, stubborn and short-tempered. My In-laws make a good use of his behaviour and turn him against me. They also have a good control over him and make sure he depends for money frm his parents. My husband looks after the family business, his father takes care of the finances and uses his son just like any other labour. My husband and i, live away from my in-laws. My father-in-law who is incharge of the financial matters pays us less every month for our expenses. We havent spent on anythin lavishly nor have we got ourselves anything expensive, but still we find it difficult to push days without money after the 20th of every month. When i ask my husband for money, he refuses to ask his dad for money. I have spoken directly to my in-laws that our income is less.. they jus stay deaf to my complaints.. Im quite annoyed by thr behaviour or how they treat me and my husband. Meanwhile my in-laws spend a lot on themselves and their married daughter... My parents have got us a new flat, as we were living in a rented flat... my in-laws refused to purchase us a house or even a flat for that matter, so my parents have got a new flat... my husband and i will be moving into the flat in 2 months time, but my husband doesnt wants to purchase anythin for the new house... he is scared to ask his dad for money so he is refusing to purchase anythin that i ask for the house.. Now im really scared to even have a kid with my Husband, as he cant even handle our monthly expenses whr will he go and spend for my child? but I really want to have a child now as im getting older... Please tell me how to handle my husband and his parents over the financial matter??... I feel so embarrased to keep askin them for money, when they dont give us...

Answer: Most in laws are like that. so the best thing is get a good job support urself. Asking them is useless and gives them an edge over u. when ur husband lets to be taken advantage of they do that. So be patient, get a job. I know it will be very hard on ur part. U have to be very patient. and give time and prove to ur husband what ur made of. Dont keep telling him about his parents. some dont like it and get irritated. Better move to the flat ur parents got u if its near them its very good. Its good that u are away from ur in laws. If u can balance a job and a child together go ahead. U cant change a stubborn, short tempered person. they have to learn the lesson themselves and change. There are chances that ur husband could tell whatever u tell about them to them so that could make things worse. So be patient and get a job. Ur husband will change in time. dont worry. Everything will be fine and good luck. Cheer up.

Question: Cochlear Implant for your child? yes or no? I am 17 in ASL class. My boyfriend comes from a deaf family but i could not get their opinion on the situation. I am writing an essay on whether or not i would give my child a cochlear implant. I am thinking of saying 'no' at the moment but i would love some of your opinions. Especially from someone who is deaf or has a cochlear implant. But anyone's opinion would be appreciated. Also, a list of pros and cons would be great. Thank you!

Answer: if i knew that my child's hearing would be significantly better than yes i would. having your child go through surgery is never and easy thing to go through, but if i knew it was going to help then i would. my son isn't deaf, but has epilepsy and so far his seizures have not been easy to control with medicine. We are now on our 3rd different med. If this one fails, an option we have is the Vagus Nerve stimulator. It is basically a "pacemaker for the brain". It would be implanted in his chest and an incision on his neck would be made for the wires to wrap around the vagus nerve. This is a decision my husband and i have to make together as to whether or not to do, but for now we are waiting for that bridge to come first. But, if the odds are in his favor for this, we will definitely be saying yes to this operation.

Question: Cochlear Implant for your child? Yes or no? opinions? I am 17 in ASL class. My boyfriend comes from a deaf family but i could not get their opinion on the situation. I am writing an essay on whether or not i would give my child a cochlear implant. I am thinking of saying 'no' at the moment but i would love some of your opinions. Especially from someone who is deaf or has a cochlear implant. But anyone's opinion would be appreciated. Also, a list of pros and cons would be great. Thank you!

Answer: Ok dizzy, you have to consider all aspects of the situation. Was this child bord deaf or deaf by accident. If this child was born deaf, I would suggent not to. I think is a grey area and I think its this childs decision in the future. Because being born deaf is not a disability, he's just that one percent of human being with and ability more than a disability. Try to chose for him is like chosing what people, music, foods, ect ect is best for him. What if this child now older realizes what you've done, it could go both ways. Think about it, if he is born deaf and as he grows up he is not going to see it as a disadvantage but more as , "oh, I'm taller than the next kid" or " I got straight brown hair and he has blond curly" you understand what I'm trying to say. So no I don't think you should do it if this child does not have the capacity for him to see the severity of the matter. If this child lost his hearing, it would something different because he grew up knowing what sound is.

Question: Cochlear Implant? Yes or No? Opinions please? I am 17 in ASL class. My boyfriend comes from a deaf family but i could not get their opinion on the situation. I am writing an essay on whether or not i would give my child a cochlear implant. I am thinking of saying 'no' at the moment but i would love some of your opinions. Especially from someone who is deaf or has a cochlear implant. But anyone's opinion would be appreciated. Also, a list of pros and cons would be great. Thank you!

Answer: I think I would since I would want my child to be able to communicate with my family and have my child learn sign language also so he/she can communicate with hubbys family.

Question: Opinion on Cochlear Implants please? I am 17 in ASL class. My boyfriend comes with a deaf family but i could not get their opinion on the situation. I am writing an essay on whether or not i would give my child a cochlear implant. I am thinking of saying 'no' at the moment but i would love some of your opinions. Especially from someone who is deaf or has a cochlear implant. But anyone's opinion would be appreciated. Also, a list of pros and cons would be great. Thank you!

Answer: I think they're barbaric. The only thing worse that I ever heard of is the new "bone-anchored" hearing aids, which are basically hearing aids screwed into the skulls of children to stop them from taking them off. That said, there are a few cases I can understand wanting to use them are cases where learning sign language is impossible due to physical or mental disability, or in the case of late-deafened adults who can make such a huge decision on their own. I think their use in normal children who are Deaf is disgusting. I know so many people who were forced to get CI when they were young and wish they could get that stuff out of their skull now. The surgery is expensive and painful, with incredibly dangerous side effects. Parents who have their children implanted risk not only permanent brain damage, but death. Also, from what I understand, the sound quality is not very good. It only allows sound in a fraction of the channels normal hearing encompasses while destroying any residual hearing a person has. I think a lot of parents get their children implants without researching their options. The natural inclination is to "fix" what they think is wrong with their children. Instead of taking some time to learn about Deaf culture and history, American Sign Language, etc., they just try to make their child fit into their expectation of what he or she should be. I have yet to meet a Deaf person who wishes they could have gotten a cochlear. In fact most of what I have experienced is the opposite - many people who received cochlears wish they hadn't (I know some people who have them but have taken off their external processor and refuse to use it.) and some parents who wish they hadn't implanted their child. As I said, there are a few cases where cochlear implants would be better, but I don't think turning our children into cyborgs is the best option. Deafness is a beautiful culture with a rich history. It is not something that needs to be "cured." Certainly not with something as dangerous as cochlear implants. The risks in this case strongly outweigh the rewards.

Question: Opinion on Cochlear Implants? I am 17 in ASL class. My boyfriend comes with a deaf family but i could not get their opinion on the situation. I am writing an essay on whether or not i would give my child a cochlear implant. I am thinking of saying 'no' at the moment but i would love some of your opinions. Especially from someone who is deaf or has a cochlear implant. But anyone's opinion would be appreciated. Also, a list of pros and cons would be great. Thank you!

Answer: I'm going to answer this as if I were deciding for my own child. Would I give my infant a cochlear implant? Easy. No. Many people would ask me why I wouldn't want my child to hear. If it were that easy, more deaf people would have them. For every successful cochlear implant story there is a story of someone that doesn't benefit from it. First, if I don't have to put my child through a long surgery unnecessarily, why would I want to. There are incredible risks that come with anesthesia. Any number of things could go wrong. Second, if the surgery didn't work as the doctors hope, any residual hearing in that ear would be gone. By implanting something into the cochlea you are killing the ear. If there was any hearing that a hearing aid may have helped is now gone. Not only that, but deaf is such a medical word that has such a deep meaning. Not every deaf person cannot hear anything. There is a wide spectrum of hearing loss. Without trying, who knows how much a child can benefit from aids without surgery. Third, what's wrong with being deaf? There is a large D/deaf community. They have a beautiful, complex language. There are many people that will love and support any children brought into their community. They grow up to be successful people. One of my bosses had her PhD. I work with a Deaf attorney. I've interpreted for a Deaf doctor. Deaf people grow up to do just about everything a hearing person can do. Now, if my child were to come to me as a teen and ask for an implant I would sit down and seriously discuss it with them and try to come to a decision based on their wants/needs at that time. I don't think a surgery like this should be forced on any child. It was originally intended for adults with a hearing loss to regain some of what they lost. People have turned that upside down and forced it onto infants. I could NOT do that in good conscious. What other people do and decide is their business. I would just hope that in making a decision like that people would research it more and talk to people OUTSIDE the medical community to get opinions. Hope that helps!

Question: Cochlear Implant? Good or Bad? I am 17 in ASL class. My boyfriend comes with a deaf family but i could not get their opinion on the situation. I am writing an essay on whether or not i would give my child a cochlear implant. I am thinking of saying 'no' at the moment but i would love some of your opinions. Especially from someone who is deaf or has a cochlear implant. But anyone's opinion would be appreciated. Also, a list of pros and cons would be great. Thank you!

Answer: I would diffently say NO too. As an ASL signer myself, I have met many wonderful people in the deaf community. When asked if they would get the implant they all said no. Being Born deaf is not a handicapped or disease. If my child was sick and could die, I would go to the ends of the earth to heal her. But if my daughter was deaf, I would have her taught sign language It's like your saying to your child "Your broken, let's fix you". The deaf commuinity has amazing people in it, I would try to get my child involved with the deaf community. Kids who are deaf are not dumb and people treat them like they are. Also I believe a child with a Cocklar implant would be made more fun of if they had the implant because it's so noticable.

Question: Is it okay for gay couples to make their children gay on purpose? If sexuality is imprinted, is it okay to follow the formulation when it becomes known? If not, why not and how would you propose to stop them? They are married and a family has a right to privacy so they are protected by law, but is it okay? If sexuality is genetic, is it okay to screen for gay genes at a fertility clinic? Blacks can screen for skin shade but the deaf can not make their children deaf on purpose because it is a defect. Gay marriage in MA is granted on the grounds that being Gay is not a defect, it is like being Black with the same rights rather than like being deaf with its limited protections. It is the law, but is it okay? C'mon guys! This is a hypothetical question: IF it becomes possible then is it okay? I am seeing that many apparently believe being gay is a spiritual condition not due to genes or environment, that humans are conceived with gay souls. Perhaps, but to bet against science is usually a bad bet. Scientists are working hard to unravel the mystery of homosexuality and if (when) they come to understand it, it will be possible to manipulate this trait at will. Before then, hoping for either a straight or gay outcome, people will be trying informal experiments based on unproven theories. It is well worth thinking about and discussing.

Answer: Just as it makes no difference for heterosexual parents to try to make their children straight 'on purpose,' it would have no effect for gay people to try to raise their kids to be gay. Almost all gay people were raised by straight parents, and the ones that were raised by gay parents were not 'turned' gay by them. THINK before you type so you don't sound foolish.